Do you want a quesadilla?

Today Janardan ended up not falling asleep until 8am. So he slept most of the day, and didn't eat meals at regular times. So he woke up around dinner time, and so we ate dinner with his family (something he was not looking forward to). Also...I am being petty and complaining about more than necessary, just so you know, but Carol made zucchini and squash, and it was gross. Like...I really like zucchini and squash, cooked and raw, and this was just like greasy and gross. Like I really do not understand how you go wrong, except it is Carol, so I know she can go wrong with anything. She did, however, succeed in making a yummy potato dish, and how was that, ladies and gentlemen? By cooking out of a box. Thank goodness for Betty Crocker's scalloped potatoes. And she didn't really mess them up, so that was a plus.

Anyway, so the real reason I am writing this is because a few hours after dinner, I figured Janardan was probably hungry, and I asked him, and he said he was, so I told him I'd make him some burritos. So I go in to make him burritos, and I make the burritos, and make a salad to go on the side, and grab some blueberries from the fridge. And so I am making this food, and Carol asks "Do you think Janardan would like a quesadilla?" I would have just flat out said "This is probably enough food for him," but I thought maybe there was an extra quesadilla, and so I thought there would be no harm in giving him some leftovers with the meal, so I said, "I don't know." So she went and asked him and he said "sure." So then she proceeds to get out the waffle-maker, and make his a quesadilla. And I like want to start crying on the spot. Like seriously, this seems so rude to me. I make him a whole entire meal, complete with veggies and fruit, and she feels the need to make something else, like what I made was not good enough. And it doesn't matter that intellectually I know that is not what she is thinking, because she is not thinking, that is still how it feels to me. She can't appreciate me taking care of her son -- she has to do it herself. But she doesn't even do that. I was planning on just letting her pilot this thing, letting her take care of everything, but she wasn't. The first few weeks here, we were going hungry, and not just because she wasn't making any food, but because there was no food in the house to be consumed, besides potatoes.

And so yes, it annoys me to no end when, if she feels this obligation to take care of my husband, why she doesn't do it before I feel like he is not being taken care of. It is like she only does it when I am already doing something for him. And I am like...what the crap. If you would do this in the first place, then I wouldn't have to worry about it. But you are still going to worry even if I do everything.

Anyway, so yeah. But after I told Janardan that this bothered me, and I went back out to give him his salad dressing, there were plates on the floor between us, but he reached out his arms to give me a hug. And so I wanted to cry again, and at least let myself feel some of it. My husband is so good to me.