Things are good in general...blah blah

So things are really looking up and I have been getting a lot happier here, but you know, of course that would not bring me here to write on my blog!

So a few days ago Janardan bought an Xbox 360 with his birthday money for the past you know 2 years or so. Anyway, so apparently when Andy noticed, he said "That's an awfully big purchase for an unemployed couple." I got this second-hand from Janardan today...and I am like...so pissed about it, and Andy and Chandra's general financial attitude toward us. Like...Chandra is very open with us about her finances, but I am not open at all about our finances with their parents, much less Chandra. I really don't think they are any of her business. I don't remember if I related this earlier, but she wondered why I bought Janardan an ipod for his birthday as well (which we returned because he decided he didnt want), and also wondered why I'm not working while I am here.

When we first planned on coming here, I figured we'd get our own apartment, and so I would get a job to pay for it, or we'd working something out and his parents would help. But then his mom said she thought we would just stay at their house, so I decided it was worth saving the money, and it might be good for relations with them, as it would force me to work through some of my problems with them (which it has).

I asked Janardan why it bothers them, and my conclusion after talking to him is that they don't believe he needs to get better. They don't believe in what he has, and so they think we are here just being lazy. And it's like, now that I know that, I know there is nothing in action that I can really do about it that I am not doing already (like starting to help with meals, which has been the positive aspect of my week), because I am not going to go and get a job, thus taking me away from being able to take care of Janardan. The whole point of being here is so he can figure out how to work with his body and how to get himself feeling somewhat better, and my point in being here is to figure out how I can get systems into my life where I am just taking care of Janardan and it doesn't feel like so much effort. And both of those things are starting to happen, though not being completed. And it's like - none of that would be happening, and none of the progress with his family would be coming if I was going out to work 20-40 hours a week. And so I am like - I don't have to prove my existence to you. What do you want Janardan to do to show you that he is sick. Oh wait, probably the reason they think he is lazy is because he does pretty much the same thing that Andy is doing all day...sitting around on the computer and playing video games. And I understand, he is between jobs and doesn't have much else to do. But just because he is being lazy when doing that does not mean that my husband, who is sick with a chronic disesase, is lazy when he does the same things. He does those things because he prefers doing them to laying in bed all daying feeling sorry for himself, and dwelling on the pain. It just makes me so mad that they judge him so harshly, and it makes me mad at Carol for the things she says that make them think that, because she explains Janardan in such a bad way. She feels for him, but no one else does. His dad does only because Janardan actually talks to him about how he's feeling, not because of anything his dad knows from Carol. But I also know she doesn't mean to, but it makes me mad, because she is giving them this impression that they have of him.
Anyway, we are off to go swimming. Yes, that is right - two times in one week, Janardan and I are swimming. He's working so hard to get feeling better. He's not slept hardly this week, and still trying to start exercising. I love him.