I'm A Ball of Nerves

So, I've noticed that I am taking on Carol's personality traits - i.e. I am a ball of nerves. I realized this yesterday, when I was freaking out at the temple about nothing, and was like - why am I freaking out - I don't freak out like this. And since then, I have noticed it so much more. Just an hour ago, Janardan and I were out for dinner, and I was like - I am feeling relaxed and calm - it is so nice to be me, and then we got home and wham - I was back to a ball of nerves. Though, in recognizing it, I am handling it somewhat better and able to overcome some of it. But man is it going to be a fight. Like...I can't take being like this. This is not me. And I won't let it become me.

Chandra and Carol were gone in the middle of the day today, and that was nice. I made lunch, and asked Andy if he wanted some, so Andy Janardan and I ate lunch together, and then after lunch we attacked the kitchen, unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded most of the dishes. It felt good to do it even if I knew that I was probably doing something that someone would complain about. That is why I didn't want to be here for dinner tonight, so I could avoid hearing the complaints.

I already feel like I need another vacation - since the quilt show, not North Dakota. Three and a half more months. That doesn't sound terrible. I can do this.