Imagine this scenario:

You work as the officer in a company, so you work very hard there, are busy all day, working 12 hours, sometimes more. You have a boss who can be a bit temperamental and tends towards yelling. Then, when you come home, you are assaulted by complaint after complaint by your wife, who is not only complaining about all aspects of your life, but placing blame on you as well. 

I really don't know how Art handles it. Perhaps it is because he does not know what she is like when he is not around. He never sees her not complaining, and so assumes it is her mode of operating...which to be fair, it is. But, there is a distinct change in her pinning it on someone as soon as he walks in the door. Her complaints are then about him, not about the world in general wronging her. 

The end of my time here is approaching. I am looking forward to moving on. I am also feeling the strange feeling I did when considering moving here. I do not know what Utah will hold for me, and it feels a bit strange that I will not spend the rest of my life trapped in this bedroom, yearning for some sense of caring for me outside of my husband. I hope not that I will never need such an experience again, because such experiences have led to great growth in my life, but rather the future experiences I have will not have to be this particular experience. I don't know that I have learned all I should from the experience, but there have been beautiful things that have come as a result. The list could be rather long, and extensive, so I will just name some of the best things that have come.

1 - My relationship with Janardan has been strengthened in more ways than imagineable. We have experienced great adversity here, and it has only served to bring us closer together. 

2 - I've made friends with MK. He's from TSC, and he's chronically ill also, so he understands that. My love for Janardan gives him hope for someone to love him, and so his appreciation of my marriage makes me love my marriage that much more. 

3 - I have found a community. This is directly because of the two above. I have become a part. I know I blogged about TSC on my regular blog, but it is a place where I feel accepted and cared about, and that is something I have needed desperately being here. 

And so yeah, while there have been times I have hated living here, and there has been a lot of drama, and I have learned some of the lower parts of my personality, I am struck by how there is always the possibility for greater beauty in adversity. Sometimes it is good for life to be hard, because it is then that the most precious joys can come to you. So I can say that I am glad I came here, and would not change it any other way, but it was still tremendously difficult, and one of the least sane times of my life. But in this, too, there is beauty.